I’m sittin’ in my chair watchin’ the TV It’s not even on, but there’s plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit That my friend overnight mailed to me I’m fuckin’ wasted It’s the best shit I ever tasted I think they fuckin’ laced it ‘Cause I’m so damn lambasted Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe I told him he better go easy with this shit But he didn’t believe the hype He sparked three bowls just to show he could take it Two minutes later he was playin’ backgammon naked He’s fuckin’ wasted It’s the best shit he ever tasted He’s lost in fuckin’ space-ed ‘Cause he’s so wicked wicked wasted Oh I spent the last two hours hiding under my bed ‘Cause I looked in the garbage can and I
think I saw my Uncle Louie’s head I’m fuckin’ wasted Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird’s face The bird laughed hysterically and started to moon walk all over the place He tripped over the toaster and fell on his beak He looked at the two of us and he started to speak I’m fuckin’ wasted It’s the best shit I ever tasted My brain’s been erased-ed *bad ass scream* I’m fuckin’ fried Now we’re sittin’ in the bathtub wantin’ something to eat I wanted a pizza – the bird said ‘uh, pepperoni would be sweet’ Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe I said, ‘We ordered pizza buddy, what the hell’s up with you?’ I’m fuckin’ wasted It’s the best shit I ever fuckin’ tasted Oh fuckin’ shit I’m way too baked Oh, no