Bro! Body better watch out
That’s Tiwari sister He’ll create a scene man Tiwari, how’s it going? So, basically the law of diminishing
marginal utility dictates that at the third stage, the slope will become negative So, for all you dumbfucks who don’t
understand it in plain English Here is an illustration to make it clear As you can see, if on the x-axis
we have quantity of good Quantity of good And on the y-axis we have marginal
utility derived from said good Derived from said good This means that a rational consumer
of let’s say, banana would be willing to spend less each
time he buys an additional banana. What is your name? Md. Haris. Could you stand up Md. Haris? Take a good, long, hard
look at Haris, class. Here is our official class, Chaatu. Every single year, there has to
be this one person in class who sucks up to the professor
to get ahead in class You want to teach? No, do you want to teach? By all means, please come
and teach if you want to. I mean, god knows
I don’t want to teach. This miserable job doesn’t pay me enough.
I don’t get enough leaves in a year And worst of all, day in and day out,
I have to come here and try to educate you bunch of
unhygienic, unmotivated, imbeciles. Sir but I was not…
Say sorry. Sorry? Say sorry sir Sorry sir You guys can get lost
I don’t want to teach Sir, attendance?
Nobody gets attendance today Thanks to your wonderful
friend, Mr. Chaatu here I am not kidding guys
All of you can get out. Thank you Oye Lucknow boy! I’m talking to you only idiot
Come here Actually I’m from Allahabad
My mother’s family is from Kanpur Haris, is it?
Md. Haris You are a fresher right?
Come on, stand on one leg and recite Nehru’s
Independence speech. Excuse me? Tryst with destiny dude, on one leg
Just say it like Nehru. At the stroke of the midnight hour,
as the world sleeps India will awake, to life and freedom not wholly or substantially… I’m kidding dude
We don’t tolerate ragging in this college Oh…I’d come completely
prepared to be ragged We hear such horror stories in Allahabad
about the ragging scene in Delhi, by god Really? Anyway, you’re coming to
the freshers party tonight right? I mean unofficial freshers party.
These Student Union guys they host it every year at the farmhouse
You should come. It will be fun Definitely
I’ll be the there. I love to party Ya My friends say I’m a party animal I will see you there then
Cool Bye! Sakshi I agree that I have made a few
compromises in life, but who doesn’t? Yeah? Rahul Bose What? No! You..What’s the problem? You put up the posters? Why the fuck did you put your posters
over our freshers party posters? Who doesn’t compromise? Fardeen Khan Fuck man! No
Haris tell me who this is? Sakshi I agree that I have made a few
compromises in life, but who doesn’t? Jimmy Shergil Oye Tiwari, how many times have I told you No violence at my tea stall
Leave him alone Oh ..Sorry Gupta ji
I lose my cool sometimes Why don’t you make us
two masala lemonades please Two Masala Lemonades We’ll cut you up the next time
we see you asshole! What’s up Tiwari? Looks like a full on
party scenes tonight? If I see you both at the party tonight I will beat you up so bad that even
Ringo Starr would give up the drums Tiwari, its been a year since that
shit happened, let’s forget about it i’m not kidding this time
This is my last warning Let’s go What’s his problem? Alright Guptaji, we’re off What about my money?
Ok bye Guptaji! See you! Do you think there will be a sequel to Masti?
Brilliant film. Shut up dude Oni why don’t
you ever stand up to Tiwari? Hey, I am not scared
of anyone alright? Anyway it has been two weeks since we
have put up the Wake’n’Bake posters We haven’t received a single call yet.
You had put up the posters properly, right? Yes, definitely. I put them up
at D-School, Kamla Nagar, Tom Uncle.. Infact, I had put it up here as well. Where is it? I had put it up right here Dude I give you just one task
and you shat on it. How is this my fault ?
It was your responsibility, right? Exactly! Now you fix this.
No way, I don’t want to get thrashed by Tiwari Didn’t you see what he did to that poor guy
Don’t worry about Tiwari, we’ll handle him But, I don’t think I can do this…
Haris trust me… Just Trust me We can’t just land up there man
Tiwari will kill us Dude I’m telling you, all we need to do
is go in a fancy car and we’re in I’m going to take a bath
Have you put up the posters? Yes Just call up Vipul, ask him if he can pick us up.
Dude, I haven’t spoken to him in two years Especially after I drunk
dialled his mom that night So what? Just call him, say Hi
How are you? Long time. How’s aunty? Etc. Just ask him to pick us up Just do it Did he pick up? He cut my call What’s up Haris? Where are you going?
Freshers party. Tara invited me Ooh Tara invited him So you’re going then?
Yes, definitely Haris? Haris .. Bro show some team spirit I don’t understand how you can
think of going without the two of us I mean you saw how, Tiwari
in front of everyone… humiliated Body Listen, I am not going..I don’t understand
how you can think of going Unbelievable Haris It’s just a party guys
Is a party more important to you than your friends? Anyway I heard it’s going
to be a shitty scene You know, those typical
junkie and booze addict scenes But I don’t even drink alcohol
And no drugs either So? Remember what happened
to that fresher last year? The poor guy was drinking Pepsi. They spiked
his drink and he was hospitalized for a week What happened to him? Never saw him again I am going to study Yes yes yes!
Wake’n’Bake is officially in business Haris my boy, fire up your stove
It’s a massive order What? Seriously?
Wow! What’s the order? 35 RockinRolls, 23 Mast kalandar
Burgers and 7 Paathshala Pizzas Bloody hell.
Who are these gluttons? We can’t make so much food
You should me happy we got such a big order But we don’t have the stock to pull this off
We just can’t do it Tell them we’re sorry
It’s not possible Hey don’t you want to know
where the order came from? It doesn’t matter Freshers party bro
Freshers party Really ? This is our ticket to the party bro But you said only addicts go to such parties?
And you said that Tara had invited you? You can chill with Tara
and we’ll do the drugs Shits man! Shits!
What do we do about the food? I can make a bit of it but
what do we do about the rest? You make whatever you can, and
I’ll call up Gupta ji I’m he’ll sort us out bro Ok Ok! Ok OK? What is this? Isn’t it amazing? It’ll be
exactly like Sholay I am not sitting in that?
Why not? It’s practical, safe, and trendy You got the food?
Yup! Yuck! This thing stinks There you go…
Problem solved And they didn’t even order this
Samosa & Patties? Don’t worry. By the time we reach there, those guys
would be so drunk that they won’t even notice Haris my boy, take a seat
The Freshers party awaits Is it necessary to put on the buckle?
It doesn’t matter. You fucking drunkard..Tell me one thing Why are there so few girls at this party? I called up everyone
How many girls? I called up 40 girls You called up 40 girls
And how many showed up? That’s not my fault Wake’n’Bake!
You ordered food from us You guys are either really brave
or really fucking stupid You guys came all the way here
just to get your asses kicked Tiwari bro, you ordered
the food from us Tiwari, let’s forget about it
just for tonight They’ve brought us food Alright But if you guys fuck up tonight
in any way whatsoever Then I’ll be the one who’ll
take your anal virginity Isn’t that right Pradhan? Let’s go Doesn’t this party look a
little dead to you guys? Forget that. I love this song Haris, the girls are waiting Oh hi Body!
What a nice surprise Oh Mr. Fresh Face How are you? Long time, no see
HI… Aren’t you happy to see me?
No, I am happy. Don’t you remember how
much fun we had the last time You were joining the Air Force right?
Have you become a pilot yet? No. Actually they chucked me out.
They thought I was too good The other pilots would have
an inferiority complex You think I’m stupid?
Cheeky little liar First year? Yes He’s the same guy who
got us the food Oh really?
Come join us… Sit down What’s your name?
Md. Haris Where are you from, Haris? Allahabad, U.P Allahabad?
Oh…I’m from Raebareli, U.P Gandhi family safe seat.
Progressive place My uncle is from there as well
In fact, his son got married last year So where exactly is your uncle from? There is the Kanchiram round about..
From there you keep going straight After about two blocks there’s a sweet shop
Yes, yes of course His house is right there So did you try the special pastry
they make at that sweet shop? No. Actually I couldn’t go then
because of my exams Oh man you missed some good pastries Nevermind! Turns out this guy
is a country cousin of ours’ The scent of the food reminded me of home Thank you!
Did you cook it? Yes Wow Haris, you are a pretty good cook Can you sing as well? I can sing a bit
Hindi or English? Both. Would you like to hear some? Of course. Go on then So I’ll start and you guys can join in Let’s hear it… No, that was brilliant
Very good Body let’s dance.
No, I don’t dance Why not? I mean you shouldn’t dance
under these circumstances Under what circumstances? I mean it won’t be good for you.
What won’t be good for me? For your…baby They say one should be very careful
during the third trimester otherwise… I’m not pregnant you asshole!
What? I even joined a gym
Goldy’s Gym Platinum membership Oh shit! So…sorry!
Generally I don’t make such mistakes Chanchal.. This is a complete lie bro.
Why? Everyone knows that Nehru
died of syphilis. Chacha Nehru died due to a heart attack
That’s what they want you to believe If people knew the truth there
would have been riots It’s all a bloody cover up. You know Nihal right?
The guy on the wheelchair He told me Nehru and Lady Mountbatten
were caught making out in the university lawns That is absolutely true Now you’ll say that even
Jinaah died from an STD Yes. Didn’t you know about that already?
It did happen bro. He had it. He got it from the same woman
It was like the empire’s final fuck you to India Oni, tell me one thing.. I understand why Tiwari has a problem with Body. But why does he have a grudge against you? He’s jealous of me Ti..Tiwari how’s it going?
Just get out of the way Oni What a crazy party, right?
Oni, I don’t want to talk. Just get away Your drink is over
Let’s get you a refill