(tapping) (lounge music) – It’s alright. (clapping) – Hey everyone! – Hi guys. – It’s your girl, Ben. (laughing) Wait! (laughing) Why! Hey, everyone! – Hi, guys. – It’s your girl, Jenn. – And it’s Ben. (laughing) Did it! – It is February, the month of love. So we are back with our
annual couple’s Q & A. – Oh yeah, we do it every year, don’t we? (speaking in foreign language) There’s not much more than that. It is very hard, but– – It’s pretty impressive. Did we miss last year? – I think so. So, I think we’ve only done it once. (laughing) Our biannual Q & A. (laughing) – I grabbed a couple questions on Twitter so we’re just gonna dive right in! – Thank you for sending your questions. We got some good ones. I’m excited! “We often say that having arguments with our significant other
means a healthy relationship, but I never had one with
my boyfriend in two years. Is it weird?” It’s normal to have arguments. – Yeah. – And I think, I think you need to ask yourself, like why don’t you guys have arguments? Is it because you’re so solid? Or because there’s like a
lack of communication there? Maybe you’re building up something, there’s some resentment or that you’re not really
talking about stuff. I think it’s important to talk about it. Especially in a calm manner. If you do it in an argument, everyone’s got their walls
up, they’re not listening. So, I think that’s important to ask yourself why you
guys don’t have an argument because it’s kind of weird, like– – Yeah, especially–
– In a little way. – Especially in two years, you know? – Yeah. – I mean it depends, like how often do you see your boyfriend? – Well and like, if you’ve
managed to have like a good sort of balance and you’re kind of, you’re not moving in with each other the second you meet each other, then you’re less likely
to have sort of arguments and things building up. But I do think, you know,
communication is really important. It’s something we’re always
trying to improve on. Regardless, that’s great that you guys aren’t arguing that much and, keep it going.
– At all. – At all. – At all. (laughing) – At all. – “How do you guys maintain
individuality after marriage and relationship?” I feel like we’ve always
cherished our individuality. – Absolutely. – Don’t you think?
– Yeah – I feel like we’ve never been the couple who were like, we’re attached to the hip and we go everywhere together! – But we had no choice because we were living
five thousand miles away, so we–
– That’s true. – Long distance kind of lets you have your independence still
and, I thought like, when I move here and
started getting into video, I started working with you a lot and our, like, work,
personal relationship, it was very kind of mixed. Wasn’t it? And I think, for us, having
me finding my own path career-wise you know,
still working with Jenn but working with other the brands and having my own path has
been a massive help to us. It means we can breathe,
it means I can learn more and bring it to you and we
just have a bit of balance, right? – I agree. I also wanna mention that like, we’re both very supportive
when you want to have your boys’ nights and I
wanna have my girls’ nights. – Very true. – Because, what I can provide is not what your boys and the lads can provide. – But I think that is really important. And again, I think you
see a lot of couples that struggle to have that balance, where if you wanna have your girl time or your guy time, or if you
wanna stay out a bit later or have a couple more
drinks and one goes home and it’s great to be able to do that because otherwise there
is resentment that builds and like, you know, we are our own people. We have same friends, we
also have different friends. We have a good balance and– – We do. Like there are night
where we all go together which is fabulous but we
also have, like nights where it’s just like, lads night where you guys play,
like soccer, or you know, hit the clubs at the golfing… – Range. – Range. – Yes. And I love it when you go and you know, you get your girl time and, those times when you have
that bit of separation and you have the, you come back stronger, you get, it fills your soul as well. The amount of times you come
back from seeing the girls and you chat up a storm,
we’ll be talking for hours. You come back and you just,
your soul feels lifted and you have that space and
that only helps us as well. “Do you think it’s a good or bad idea to move in together before marriage after doing it yourselves?” It’s a good question. – I mean, I think it’s
a good idea to move in before marriage if– – Yeah. – If possible. – I agree. – Because it’s almost like a
test run before you get married and if you’re not compatible living-wise. – But that’s when you know. You know even for me and Jenn, you know, from long distance to
then moving in together, that was a stressful, like, month? Two months? Kind of,
just kind of getting used to the way we are, the way we live. The little things that gradually build up and that is what can make or
break a relationship I think. – I agree. – Why go to marriage when,
until you can kind of get to see what it’s like to really live together? Cause marriage is living together. – “What are some living habits you had to get rid of/pick up in order to accommodate the other
person’s living style?” I think I had to compromise on the fact that not everything will be
left exactly where I left it. – I learned to be more tidy and clean and you learned to accept not being quite as tidy.
– As tidy. Yeah we kinda met in the middle because I think when I was living alone, one of the biggest delights was that I can be super clean and
have everything organized. Or if it was messy, it was my mess. And I would deal with it later. But I think living with somebody, you do have to compromise because not, it’s unrealistic to think that the house is gonna
be immaculate forever. It kinda prepares you for other things that may happen where you
just don’t have control. You know, when Cheeky first came and I was like oh my gosh! She’s, mess everywhere.
– Little puppy, just pooing and weeing all over the floor. And just, like everything. And again that was a test. And you know when you’re stressed, you’ve had a bad day
at work or you come in and dog pooed all over the floor. Like you’re stressed and you know, your other half’s most likely
to get the brunt of that. And that’s, it’s those
times when you know, you kind of work together. And I, for me, I know a
big thing for you is like a clean home, that’s a big learning curve. So now everything’s spotless. You come back in the best mood. And I’m like oh, this is easy. – I know. Whoa! – Cheeky wants to be on camera. – I know, she’s like you called me? “How does Ben feel that you are more of the bread-winner for
a lack of a better word?” That is a juicy question. – That is a juicy question! Can I get the goss? (laughing) More than anything,
it’s inspirational like how it’d be very hard for you
not to be the breadwinner. You know, you work so hard and you know you’re in
industry that, you know, it’s like, it’s good margins and all that. (laughing) You can feel a slightly not good enough or this and that but to me, I kind of, I use it as inspiration
to push me to work harder and to be more driven and
like you’ve taught me so much about that work ethic. And then the day is 2020, you know? I think the question shouldn’t be “how do I feel about you
being the breadwinner?” It should be, you know, celebrated that yet another female is crushing it. And like only inspires me to work hard and be better, you know? – That’s so nice. That’s so nice. (laughing) I think at the end of the day like, Ben and I are both part of the same team. Like, the income is going to one place. And I love the fact that
it’s been such a gift seeing you grow and
grow as a videographer. Like to see you direct music videos, to filming with other creators, Like it’s been day and night. It’s crazy to think that, like, you went from drumming your entire life to doing a complete career change. And crushing it in this space. And if you’ve done all
this in a span of like, three years I don’t even
know what you’ll be like in the next three. – No, keep going. This is great. – Yeah! – Keep talking about me,
this is great (laughing) – No but I think, I almost feel like it’s a common thought that people think that all your only job is to work with me. But I think in the past–
– Yeah. Like two years, we’ve actually created some boundaries of us working together because for a while it was not pretty. Us working together and living
together and being together. It was–
– It’s impossible. – Yeah. – Like if any couple says
they manage to do all that and it be completely relaxing and chill, when you’re working together, you’re not professional
because of the way you got that comfort and you’ve
got that, you know, if you’re having a bad day
you’re fine to tell them that. And, I think we’re both
our biggest supporters and for us it’s not
necessarily about the numbers and this and that as long
as we’re working hard to be a better person,
a better husband or wife and like work harder
and be better than like, as long as we’re on the
path, it’s all right. – Growth. – Growth. – Growth. That is one of
our values as a couple. Growth. – Growth. (laughing) “Do you ever get judgment
from other people or your family about it?” – It’s weird because the
last thing you want to do is make it seem like it’s you know, you can’t be like, it’s great, I’m happy for her cause then it sounds like you’re like, it’s great cause I can be a freeloader. You don’t want to be like, it sucks because I want to be driven. Cause then it sounds like, you’re like – Yeah. Like you’re sexist,
and you don’t want to– – It’s a good catch-22. – It is a catch-22. – But like, regardless I feel like I’m in an industry where
there’s not a lot of people who can be their breadwinner for me. – No. – Like straight up. It’s because this job is abnormal. – Yeah, and it’s like
we both work very hard. We both do long days. And I think it’d be different, if you were the breadwinner and I wasn’t putting in the work. – Yeah. Yeah. Right? If you were just chilling and playing video games all day. But that’s like really not the case. – Yeah. – And I think because
we’re both hauling ass and we’re both working, it’s– – And growing. – And growing. Growth. So now we’re going to do a bonus round. From my favorite card game, which is “We’re not really strangers” I got the expansion pack. (tongue clicking) – “What do you think
I’m most sensitive to?” – Aggression. Right? – Bad energy. – Yeah. Aggression/bad energy. I mean I guess.
– Wouldn’t most people be sensitive? Not a lot of people like
someone who’s being angry and aw! (laughing) Oh, you’re being angry. – That’s true, I love this! Okay, I guess that’s a
universal sensitivity. – Animals or something. – Oh. Yeah that’s true. – I’m like, I cry when I see
like a dead fly these days. (snickering) – I know. “What’s brought you the most
unexpected joy recently?” I’ve been getting into yoga. – Oh yeah. Your wo-ga. – Wo-ga. – Yeah, he works out and does yoga. – See, wo-ga. I don’t know if it’s a
thing maybe I made it up, maybe I’m sure it’s already out there. It’s a bit like yoga and a
workout and a bit of meditating. – I know mine. – What’s yours? – Xanthan gum! (laughing) It’s a thickening agent! And it basically, you
put it in your smoothie and it makes it, like, double the size! “What’s something we
should celebrate together?” Oh! Our new communication style. – Yes. – You know, I feel like now
whenever we have just an issue, we go to, we go hash it
out at couples therapy. Which I think has been
really, really helpful. Cause there’s never really
a good time to have like, the talk because when you’re already in a bad mood and you have a talk, it’s difficult not, it’s difficult for me at least to not get so, like, angry. And, when we’re having a good time the last thing I want to do is like, oh! By the way, lets talk
about something really serious. – If anyone has the luxury
to be able to do it, everyone should have therapy. – I know. It’s all you’re doing is just
learning more about yourself, you’re growing and I think for us, one of the best things is
not only is it a place, a safe place for us to be able to talk about stuff, but it’s also something where we learn more about each other and why we are, why we are. And you know, with some of the
analogies like my emotions, I’m like bread cooking in the oven, like I take a while to process something. And you’re like popcorn
going off with emotions, I’m angry! I’m hot! What? You know, and like all these
little things we learn from it, I think really helps us kind of understand why we are how we are. And we can kind of better kind of learn how to approach situations better because of how the other person is and that’s been massive for us, isn’t it? – It really has because instead of, like radically changing the other person, we are radically trying
to understand each other. – Yeah. And our therapist actually recommended us to take the Enneagram test together. And that in itself has
been really enlightening to see what kind of
types of people we are. Like, I’m a type three, so
that means I’m an achiever, so, I am very particular in
the way that I see myself. I want to, like, be the most effective, productive, and continuously growing. And Ben is a type nine. – It’s kind of nine and two. Nine’s like someone’s
that’s, I think, quite patient, a bit indecisive. And two’s kind of like the helper and like a giver or whatever. – Yeah. – I think, but learning about, you know, how we can best get the best of each other and I think, you know, most of anything it’s like
having that perception, that knowledge of like realizing when you’re doing something, when you’re procrastinating, when you’re, because I’m a
type nine, I can be indecisive. I’m sitting there trying
to pick about something, I’m like, oh, this is my
type nine being indecisive. Once you can kind of have
that, like, acknowledgment, it helps to understand
and then it helps you kind of grow from there, like, oh, this is part of my personality. So, I recommend doing that test. – Alright guys, that is
a wrap for this Q & A. I hope you guys enjoyed it. – And if you do have any more questions, we’ll answer it in, was
it two February’s time? – Yes. So in 2021. No, 2022! (snapping) We’ll have your answers ready by then. – See you guys then. – Yes. Thank you for watching. – Bye, guys.
– Bye. – Say bye, (speaking in foreign language). – Bye, (speaking in foreign language). Cover the lens. – Bye, guys. (downtempo piano music)